Stress Relief Ideas

Being a mother takes a very heavy toll on our mind, body, and soul. There is nothing else in the world like motherhood but my goodness it can be one of the hardest things to be sometimes. Being the mother of an autistic child is a whole other category in motherhood. Even though it is very different, learning to parent my autistic child has taught me to be a better mother to my other children. It has forced me to learn some patience, be more understanding, realize that they are learning as they go, and have to process their feelings as well.  

Only a fellow autism mom can understand how stressful motherhood with autistic children can really be. It’s just one of those things you don’t get until you experience it for yourself. Especially if you are a stay-at-home mom. The cooking, serving, bathing, dressing, teaching, cleaning (which takes up most of the day), and on and on and on.  And if you’re like me, there is only so much you can take in 24 hours before needing to lock yourself in the bathroom to be alone and to take a breath. Mainly because no matter how hard I try to perfect everything before the day is done, there is still so much more being added to the pile. It’s a two-steps-forward and five-steps-back kind of feeling. That is why we need to take time out of each day to relieve ourselves from the everyday stresses that come with being a mother in our generation. Reset your mind, if you will.  

As a mother of three, I can admit that I am moody and hormonal often. I don’t want to be that mom who yells at her kids or gets angry over all the little irritating things. These stress-killing techniques are some of the things that help me be a better mom and at the same time, they help to keep me sane.  

1.  Exercise/ Yoga- When you get your blood pumping you release endorphins in your body which is what makes you feel better by putting a little more pep in your step. Exercise is a great way to let out the stress you have been holding onto. The same goes for yoga. There are so many different types of yoga to help improve your health. Some focus on breathing, meditation, positive thinking, or restful poses to help relax and strengthen our bodies. I try to practice yoga regularly. Although, it is sometimes hard to hold a pose when a kid is jumping on your back every time you get down on the floor.  

1.  Essential Oils/ Aromatherapy- Essential oils have all kinds of benefits and are becoming more and more popular. Some of these oils can in fact help reduce stress. Examples include lavender, frankincense, chamomile, rose, and many others. I have also heard of indoor plants helping with stress and anxiety that also help purify the air in your home.  

1.  Write a List! - All the tasks that you have yet to get to can become overwhelming. Writing it down can help you accomplish your goals by tackling one thing at a time and checking it off as you go. You would be surprised how much more you can get done when there is a clear schedule laid out for you. Believe me, it’s worth it. Also, the feeling of accomplishment is a powerful thing for a mother. 

1.  Wake Up Early- Try waking up an hour or so before the kids to add a little extra time to your day. Who doesn’t want more time in their day? You can use that time to prepare for the day ahead, catch up on some reading, do some yoga stretches, have a cup of coffee, or just relax before all the chaos inevitably unfolds. As hard as it is to believe, rising earlier will lead to more productivity. 

1.  Plan Ahead- Whether it be an hour before the kids wake up or the night before, try staying ahead of schedule. Pick out clothes, have meals ready to cook, pack lunches, or even organizing things to be ready when you need to clean can seriously take away the large amount of time it takes to finish everything that needs to be done.  

1.  Enjoy Nature- Feeling the sun on your face, breathing in the wind, or smelling the water from the lake or nearby river can shower you with a relaxing sensation. Go to a nature preserve or walk through some trails. I love the feeling of walking through trees in a wooded area. One of my bucket list items is to visit the Crooked Forest. 

1.  Teach Them Independence- Even though it might feel like they are going to always need you there to help, part of growing up means learning to do things for yourself. Now this one is a lot harder for autism moms because our children are going to need us for certain things much longer than our other children. If you are an autism mom, you will have to pick one independent thing to work on at a time instead of teaching them all of it all at once. Teaching them how to pack their backpack, dress themselves, clean up after themselves, and so on can take some of the pressure off you to do it all. It might take a few hundred tries to get it, but it will happen. 

1.  Self-Care- Taking the time to pamper yourself can have a huge impact on how you function throughout the day. Keeping up with hygiene, working on your bad habits, setting goals, taking a long bath, or having a spa day can boost your self-esteem and help with physical and emotional health. Truthfully, everything on this list is considered self-care.

1.  Have a Hobby- Whatever you like to do, do it. The only way you will be able to get to it is if you make the time for it. I know how hard it is to “make time” for anything. But it can be done. With how busy being a mother is, you must plan your time wisely. Paint, write, draw, color, woodwork, sculpt, create, and do what makes you feel good about yourself. As a mother who may or may not have ADHD, I know this one can get a little crazy. Having too many hobbies is actually a serious problem some of us have. So, I can’t say too much about this one myself because I’m still trying to turn this one into something not as stressful. 

1. Make Time for Him- If you have a spouse then it is important to make time for the two of you to enjoy. Get a sitter and have yourself a date night. Worrying about relationships between you and your spouse can be super-duper stressful for any parent. So, make sure you can maintain the romance too. Another one that, for autism moms, is not as simple as it sounds. Respite care is something that your medical insurance may be able to help with just so you can get a break. So, if you can get it, seriously take advantage of it! 

1. Do Something Fun- I cannot stress this enough! If you keep going with the constant routine of raising children, cleaning, cooking, working, and all the other luggage moms have to deal with, you are going to go mad. Seriously! Setting aside time now and then to go do something you enjoy is going to GREATLY improve your happiness. Being stuck in the same funk every day is what drags people into depression. Whether it’s going out with some friends or going to the salon. Or even something as simple as hanging out with a friend without kids or going to Walmart. Even the little things can make a difference. Although, for autism moms, it may be rough to change up the schedule but if you do something different once a week your little will start to see the routine that, for example, every Friday you guys do a fun alternative. 

1. Ask for Help- Do not be afraid to ask for help. It is way too hard to do everything on your own. And frankly, way too stressful. Independence is okay, but not to the point where it breaks you down and you start to feel lonely. Besides, everyone deserves to have someone who will stand by them and give them a break when they need it most. Most autism parents are not lucky enough to have the help they actually need. If you are one of those parents, then I urge you to contact your local Board of Developmental Disabilities to find a caseworker/advocate to help you find these things that can help you.  Even if you can just find someone to talk to about things helps wonders! If you don't have friends then guess what, they have websites where you can just go and talk to people or get a therapist. It all leads to the same conclusion, feeling better.

2. CBD/Marijuana- I'm just gonna say, it is legal in 24 states now and it works. I am always for what works. If you aren't for the THC then CBD is a great solution! It has also been known to help autistic children with autism aggression. I have read many success stories on this matter so if you are at your wit's end with autism aggression and have already tried medication or don't want to try regular medication then I think you should consider this. Some of the benefits of CBD oil can be found at this link. I highly recommend parents with autistic kids who have autism aggression or self-injurious behavior go to THIS LINK to learn more about autism and how CBD oil can help.

I hope this sheds some light on the importance of dealing with stress. Depression is a serious condition and is not to be taken lightly. So, if you’re feeling like you’re about to come crashing down, try some of these solutions. It’s more enjoyable to experience as much of the good side of parenting as you can. If you need to vent, let it all out in the comments, there is no judgment here.  If you are struggling with negative behaviors from your little then check out my other post Battling Bad Behaviors.